Think good-looking girls have it made and don’t have to try hard in the trenches of love? Think again. To tell the truth, there are plenty of misconceptions that can actually make it harder for attractive women to land quality dates. Sure, men feel lucky to date a “hot chick,” but women who are blessed in the looks department consider themselves just as lucky to meet decent guys. So, as a woman who’s been told she’s a “hot chick,” let me perform a reality-check for all you guys out there. And let’s see what can be learned to make dating a lot more fun and satisfying for everyone involved!
Hot women aren’t always conceited
The fact is, the more beautiful the woman, the more insecure she may be. If you’re told you’re lovely from the time you’re two, you tend to think that your attractiveness is your only value—and that means that when people don’t mention your beauty, you panic that you’ve lost your looks and become worthless. Which leads me to…
Hot women are not tired of hearing compliments
Does anyone actually tire of this? Even if something’s been said a lot, most of us respond rather nicely to positive validation—especially from someone we like. For bonus points, tell us something we haven’t heard before that makes us think you’re seeing us for more than just the obvious: For example, skip “Nice rack” for “I love the way your eyes crinkle up when you smile.”
We don’t only go for “perfect” guys
With certain brief and unsatisfying exceptions, I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy that remotely fits the standard definition of hunky or handsome, and neither have any of my especially good-looking friends. In fact, 10 times out of 10, I’d pick the bespectacled, nerdy guy in the corner over the perfectly sculpted creature with the pearly whites and year-round tan. Chances are the nerd-boy has had time to develop his personality and think of things to say, while the looker will be more interested in, well, his looks.
We get rejected all the time
Do I actually need to provide the horrific details? No matter what you look like, it’s never pretty. I’ve had my share of I’ll call you’s that never followed up, and the “What’s wrong with me?!” moments, like when a guy told me he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship, then moved in with a new girlfriend a few weeks later. And then there are the true nightmares—secretly bitter, angry men who feel they’re proving something by insulting good-looking women, like the guy who stopped calling because, he explained, I needed to wax more. It did happen.
We don’t like intimidating you
I’ll never forget a date I had with a manI really liked who kept telling me how he couldn’t believe he was actually sitting with me and how hard he was trying to just be “himself.” I suggested he stop thinking about it, but the topic so dominated our first date that it was also our last. Can’t relate? Picture a girl who’s only interested in what you do for a living and hanging on your every accomplishment like a sad groupie (except, presumably, you’re not a rock star). Ugly, huh?
We don’t depend on our looks to get ahead
Some would say, in fact, that pretty women constantly have to prove ourselves because people will always whisper that we only got whatever it is because of our beauty (or because some powerful guy pulled a few strings). As for those who say that hot girls don’t develop their personalities because “they don’t need to”—well, I’ve definitely never encountered anyone who chose slothfulness or apathy simply because she could. People are either interesting or boring, no matter how they look. So don’t assume we’re trying to social-climb or only date high-flying finance types. Come up and talk to us!
We’re not tired of being chatted up
Consider this a corollary to “Come up and talk to us!” above. Between the guys who are worried about behaving inappropriately and seduction instructors teaching the rest of them how to manipulate us, a woman can go ages without a good old-fashioned flirt. So please, chat with us, be your fantastic, confident, funny self—and consider asking us out. Hey, if we say no, you can always write us off as conceited, materialistic, shallow, and vain—it’s not true, as I’ve told you, but go ahead…we can take it.
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